Encouraging Good Behavior
Today two of my children asked me for a go on the computer before school. I was surprised as they know our rule is “no computer before school”. Nevertheless there they were, asking me for a turn. They had first made sure that their rooms were tidy and they had packed their school bags. Everything had been done. Then came the begging…
“Mum, we would like a go on the computer. We have tidied our rooms, done our chores and we are ready for school. Please can we have a turn on the computer?” I replied, “If you can tell me how you will split your time so there will be no fighting I will consider your request”. The boys went away and thought for a minute then came back with their plan. Sam first, Kieren second.
What was I doing here? I was giving my kids a chance to show me that they could negotiate between themselves and come up with a solution. One hour - two kids. One computer. It might seem like an easy solution to us but kids need to learn the skills to negotiate and make decisions one with another. I was trying to teach them to be responsible.
The kids did come up with their own solution that Sam was to go first and Kieren was to go second. Admittedly there was a little heated discussion before they came to that arrangement, nevertheless they managed to figure it out without any intervention from me. And I actually think that if they were to come back with the same request another day I might even agree and grant them another “bending of the rules”. I might even decide to outlaw that rule in our house.
Parents, this is what you need to know here: your kids, no matter what their age, need to learn that the quality of their life will be in direct relation to the effort they put into it. If you work hard your boss might give you a raise. If you don’t work well he will give you the sack. That is the way the world operates. And when we teach our kids how the real world operates they will be well equipped to function in the world as adults. They will also thank you later on life.