Promoting Honesty In Our Kids
One of the most important things in our family is our value system. As a family we often talk about what is important to us and why. One of these values is that I promote honesty above all else and the consequences are never as severe for children who own up to something.
Yesterday one of my sons decided to test me out on this. He told me that he had missed the bus to a sports event because of his teacher keeping him in at lunch break, but it didn’t sound right to me so I thought I would inquire a bit further.
On phoning his teacher I found out the whole story. Yes, he was kept in at lunch time for a few minutes but he still had time to catch the bus to sports. He had walked up to the bus with a mate and then decided that he would rather go to basketball instead of soccer. So he had taken off without even telling a teacher where he was going.
I couldn’t understand why Sam had pointed the finger at his school teacher when it wasn’t her fault at all. He missed the bus because he had been making poor choices. But why had he tried to blame a teacher? I was puzzled as to why he hadn’t taken responsibility for his actions.
As parents there is something important we must remember: we cannot control our kids. The only thing we can control is our reaction to what they do.
Anyhow, we will talk this afternoon. My objective is to help Sam realize that he must take responsibility for his own actions without trying to blame anyone else for his poor choices. If I can get him to see that, then I have done my job in this matter.
The end result is that Sam will be getting a consequence. I want to show him that he made the wrong choice. I might ban him from the computer for a day or two, just long enough for him to be annoyed and perhaps think about why he was banned. I want him to feel motivated to change his actions the next time and learn from this incident.
Parents, you have a chance to choose what your family’s core values will be. You should talk to your kids about them, encourage them and uphold them at all times. Your kids will thank you later on in life, you can be sure of that. So think about your core family values today.