When Kids Won’t Get Ready For School
Sometimes I feel like I am the only one in the world with this problem. But I’m sure there are many others who experience the same thing as I do. Dynamics change between families and I guess having four kids makes it tough for me. But I would like to share some of my experiences with other parents in the hope that I might help a few.
I have great difficulty with my 10 year old daughter each morning. No matter what time I wake her up she seems to dawdle and end up rushing to get out the door at the very last minute. Often she is late for school because she cuts it too fine.
When dealing with a child who is reluctant to go to school, the first thing you must do is ask them if they are being bullied at school by another child. Often this will be the answer. But if not, at least you know that you will need to come up with a plan to deal with this problem.
Always try something positive to start off with. An example of this might be a sticker chart and at the end of the week a trip to buy ice cream if they have stickers for every day. Make the reward immediate and something that the child likes in order to motivate them. And as your child gets better you can then start to make the rewards a bit further apart.
Always exhaust all possibilties before turning to look at the negative. Positive reinforcement always works much better if you can manage it. Well it would be nice if I could practice what I preach but alas, this morning I had to go for a negative consequence. On account of Becky throwing a tantrum this morning I felt that I had to act to help her change her behavior.
Becky has left for school now, about ten minutes late, and I am left to decide what consequence will help her to learn a lesson. Remember that a consequence should be given in order to help a child learn that it is simply not worth it. I am thinking of removing a few things from her room to go up into my top cupboard: some rather grown up earrings that Beck should not be wearing if she is still throwing tantrums plus a few grown up items of clothing more suitable for an older, more mature child.
Always try to match the crime to the punishment. In my case I am letting Becky know that because she threw a tantrum she should not be wearing grown up clothes. Make sure that you talk through it with the child so they understand why you are doing what you do.
In all of this I will give her a chance to lessen the consequence through improved behavior over the next couple of days. If she shows me that she can indeed get ready for school quickly without fussing or throwing a tantrum she will get something special that belongs to her back quite quickly. The end result is that Becky learns that she can control the quality of her life by her actions or inactions. And that is what we want our kids to learn.